Love is love.

Sex is sex.

Sex can happen together with love.

Love can happen without sex.

Sex can happen without love.


The best is to be in love with someone who you also enjoy great sex with. Some find this. Boylovers sometimes find this, but it often or usually only lasts for a few years, sometimes longer. Boys reach adolescence, get hairy, find they like girls, and the sex stops. Usually, the friendship (the "love") continues after the sex ends.

Sex doesn't last very long. It is over in minutes. If there isn't a strong attraction to a boy for his personality, then the relationship usually won't last long anyway. Of course, it happens that a BL'er might have a hot sexual relationship with a boy but otherwise not enjoy his company. This is only possible if the boy, too, is enjoying the sex.

Boys - actually, all normal humans, enjoy touching and being touched. Sex is a form of touching, more intense because it involves orgasming. But it is just another way that two humans can share their bodies and the gift of their nervous systems.

Healthy boys enjoy being touched. And they enjoy sex, too. Especially if the sex is passive - if they lay back and get a blow job. Some boys are not so "squeamish" and will even touch back. They may even give blow jobs to their Adult Friend. Lucky him (if he is into that...)!

A boy doesn't have to be gay to enjoy sex with a man, especially when the boy receives a blow-job and does not have to do anything physical in return. Many - if not most - healthy boys like having their dick sucked. They see nothing wrong with it. Some boys - those with hangups - may be disgusted with the idea of touching and getting sucked off.

Males and females are different (duh!). Males are able to appreciate casual sex more than females. Males may not be so sensitive to the looks of another male in order to let the male touch them and give them pleasure. Most healthy males don't find this to be a threat to any concept of "masculinity" that they may have. They realize that sex is a strong urge that needs satisfying. So, if another male - no matter what he looks like or how old he is - who is willing to "satisfy" him then, well, anything goes! Of course, he often or usually won't mention it to his friends, because he doesn't want his friends to accuse him of being gay (this is true more in Western developed countries).

Sex for sexes sake? Why not? An orgasm is nice. Of course, despite what they say, all orgasms are *not* the same. Some are minor orgasms, some are major orgasms. Some males will have better orgasms with women than with men. But, an orgasm is still an orgasm. It is a wonderful pleasure.

BL'ers usually (according to the best studies available) like to give pleasure to the boy. The boy passively receives the pleasure - a blow-job. It doesn't harm him in any way. He usually will then go on to outgrow the physical relationship with his AF and begin relationships with females when he reaches adolescence.

And, yes, the *friendship* part of the relationship often or usually will continue. Often the AF then becomes the "mentor" to the boy as the boy goes through life. There's nothing quite like when a former YF comes seeking advice from his AF/former lover on how to get along with - or even have sex with! - his new female friends.

Boys usually don't being like being on the receiving end of anal sex. They may consent to doing the fucking, but not being the fuckee. Getting fucked is usually painful, until learning how to do it is learned. Especially for younger boys it can be very painful. There are techniques to minimize the pain. But, still, when the anal sphincter goes into spasm, it hurts.

Some boys will have heard about anal sex, and want to try receiving it. If done very very gently and carefully, the boy *sometimes* will find it pleasurable. Most will ask for the man to stop before penetration. You know, those tricky little anal sphincters have their ways!

Some gay boys *will* enjoy getting fucked. Usually they will seek it out. Some BL'ers like to fuck boys. Most will do it with very great care, so as not to harm the boy or cause the boy pain. Pain is, for most BL'ers, NOT pleasure. So, they avoid hurting the boy.

There are some men who may use boys as a substitute for women. Something similar happens in prisons, where "straight" men will fuck or be fucked by other "straight" or "gay" men. These may be called "pedophiles" when they are actually NOT pedophiles. They are opportunists looking for a warm hole. They have no interest in the well-being of the boy. They use the boy like a masturbation toy. These are the men that usually give "pedophiles" such a bad name. They are NOT "nice men".


Sex is good. Sex is wonderful. Sex is great. Everybody should have lots of sex! An excess in the quantity usually is not a problem, as sex for males is self-limiting. Most slow down after the first orgasm, and each successive one is harder and harder to achieve. Until the male reaches the point that it just isn't worth the effort to have another one!

For many males, one orgasm is enough. The need is satisfied. The release is complete. If there are two males having sex, once both are satisfied they will then go on to other things - the friendship things - and not return to the sex until the urge becomes strong again.

Some boys like the sex very, very much. Some like it a lot. Some like it a little. Some don't like it very much. Very few don't like it at all.

Boys may have sex with a man for several reasons. They make like the sex. They may like the physical closeness and touching. They may like to please someone - the AF - and enjoy seeing the AF happy. They may do it as a favor for the AF. And to show their appreciation to the AF for being their friend.

The sex may be "just OK" for them, but they like to see their AF happy. This may not be very satisfying for the AF if the AF really wants to pleasure the boy, as the boy isn't really into the sex and may not respond very much physically. But, that may be OK also for the AF, if the relationship is based more on the friendship. These relationships based on friendship are the most successful and satisfying relationships, anyway.

Consent is when someone says, "OK". Non-consent is when someone says "No". If a boy allows a man to suck his dick, then he is giving his consent. Whether the consent is because he likes the sex, or wishes to just please the AF, it is still consent. Some boys may give their consent out of curiosity. Some give their consent out of generosity. Some just because they are horny. All of these examples are true consent.

An AF may try to "talk the boy into" being sucked off. This is a kind of manipulation. The boy may consent, or not consent. If a peer-friend of the boy suggests that the boy go swimming, or biking, or hiking, or whatever, the boy can consent or not consent. Even if his peer-friend tries to "talk him into" going swimming, etc. and the boy agrees, it is *still* consent. And, often a boy - after being persuaded to do something, will then later do it without any need for persuasion. Boys, like all people, sometimes are reluctant to try new things.

Most people try new things, as long as they are not too bizarre. Getting a blow-job, to a normal boy, is not an extreme thing, and he will try it. Sometimes he may allow himself to be "talked into" giving his consent. But, the consent he gives is *still* real consent. And, getting a blow-job is not a harmful act. No boy has ever died from getting one.

Sex can be thought of like food. The finest food may be in an expensive restaurant, surrounded by lovely decor, sweet music, with fine linen and expensive crystal, flat-ware, and tableware. The food comes out hot and fresh. The smell is wonderful. You eat. You feel satisfied. You are happy.

On the other hand, sex can be like eating at MacDonalds. Something filling, fast, and satisfying. But not of the finest quality. But, that's OK - your needs are satisfied.

Of course, it would be wonderful to always eat at the finest restaurants. But it may not always be possible.

Having the meal alone may be satisfying. But having good company along makes it much much better, more satisfying, and with longer-term rewards.

A YF who is good company is probably what most BL'ers really want. A relationship where the friendship is the "meat and potatoes" and the sex is the dessert. That's really great! Yes, you can eat the meat and potatoes, and skip dessert. But then the meal is not really complete.

Sex is not some kind of "magical experience" that comes from the angels. Sex is the stimulation of certain nerve pathways, which excite parts of the brain, which then activates a complicated number of physiological processes, ultimately leading to ejaculation. It is far better to experience this with someone who is well-liked - even better if the person is loved.

Sex is good. Fun. Exciting. And satisfying. The best is when your love is your best friend. But this is not always necessary for the sex to be good and satisfying.

(I'm running out of time on this post!)

Society creates fears and phobias withing people about a normal, common process. This may cause concerns within someone when they think about, participate in, or are approached for sex.

In this case, the problem is society. The humans being raised are not healthy. Society should work to eliminate these concerns.

Religion is ofter a barrier to freeing people to enjoy sex.

Many experience guilt for sexual thoughts, feelings, and experiences. This should never happen. Guilt should be reserved for the prevention of harmful behavior in humans. NOT for normal, pleasurable behavior.

Maybe more on this tomorrow...