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Hello again. Thank you all for your words of support and I really hope that you all continue to post. I have had a good oppurtunity to sit and read about what has been said. After the advice that has been given, I am not going to tell my family about this until it is absoloutely neccessary. Although the police officers who interviewed me said "things are not as bad as they seem" my solicitor also said this. I will speak to him tomorrow and will ask him a few of the questions I want answered. I believe I will make a list tonight. I have managed to return to work, whatever happens I will always be able to work for myself should it be neccessary. Returning to work has helped me to calm down about and come back to reality, lying in bed all day was beginning to drive me insane. I will not go into too much detail but I did explain to both the police and my solicitor my long history, which includes been sexually abused as a child more than once. One of the officers actually said something to the effect of "You are a also a victim in all this". But after reading some of the posts here, I am assuming this is complete bullshit. They did seem very compassionate and at the time I did want to believe what they were saying. Because the cat is now out of the bag, I am going to speak to my GP tomorrow about being referred to a sexual behaviour clinic. Now, I believe this is the best course of action because I have wanted to be able to speak to someone face to face about my sexuality for a long time. I am assuming they will tell me I am delluisonal when I explain to them that I was born this way but I am prepared to listen to what they have to say, even I do so with slight skeptisism. To my complete suprise I have managed to stay off the drink, my appetite is returning and I am beginning to pull myself together again. I will try my best not to drink again because I know I wont stop until I end up in hospital, once I start, bad things happen and I will end up saying or doing something I regret. The best advice I have had so far is don't do anything irrational right now while things are still raw and immediate. There is so much time to decide what direction I am going to take my life in now. Thank you so much for your posts guys. Like I said, I usually just lurk here but I am so suprised in the amount of help recieved. THANK YOU xxx |