To ryvid: Re: Point of View [contined from below]

Thank you ryvid, It's extremely painful because he's my nephew and I still have a strong relationship with his sister however to him I am turning cold. It's very painful because there is no communication between me and him to explain to him that I unable to continue to support him as I used to. The next day that I realized that he's growing and that the puberty monster got him, my emotions were still raw and I told him you're now old and you are more like adults than you are like your younger sister. I wonder if that hurt him and what this caused him. I have since been able to realize that in my eyes he will forever be the amazing boy that I loved and who loved me. I have become much better with him, but still the spark that got me closer to him is sort of gone. Since he just started his growth and puberty the pendulum still swings and I can see the beautiful boy that he was then I recognize the deformation that puberty is causing him and I turn cold again. I wish we as boylovers can be open about our attraction and that a parent would explain to the kid that I am now less drawn to him and that he has now graduated to the next level and another person who understands puberty can now take over from me. I don't know maybe I can explain that directly to the boy? The problem is that he still views me the same way and wants the same relationship that we had before but I can't give it to him. He still loves me endlessly as he used and I love him but not the same way as before, but it hurts me a lot that I am not able to be there for him as before but I can't get out of it because he's family. If he was from another family then it would be easier to cut ties. It is so painful because I can see him and I can see how puberty is disfiguring him. It is so painful to see. This is sort of like a break up, nothing physical ever happened between us, but it's a break up and I need to move on but it's tricky because I still spend a lot of time with his sister which means it is difficult not to spend time with him because they are always together and I can't see his sister and not see him and he still loves me and he breaks my heart when he is loving me more than I am loving him. It is incredibly painful and I don't know what to do. I have gotten much better than the first shock but today, for instance, he did something that caused me pain which in the past I would overcome because of how much I loved him but now I found it difficult to overcome. I am worried that my old illness will act up when I cannot overcome the pain again, which I was readily able to do because I didn't want to show him that I am in pain. Thank you for your support. I am not sure if he will need me less, especially that he sees me all the time and now I praise his sister and I am less willing than before to praise him. He's not in my sight anymore as he used to.