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a lot of young people don't know how to handle unwanted romantic overtures that they receive. A typical unmarried attractive woman, by the time she hits 25, will probably have been approached by hundreds of men, online and offline, seeking sex and/or a sexual relationship. Maybe the first time it happened, she didn't know what to say, but eventually she probably becomes an expert at giving lame excuses for not going on a date (e.g. "I take evening classes every day of the week; it's a full course load of 21 credits." Then when you ask when the semester is over, she says, "I actually already signed up to take a full course load during the break too.") The problem is, by the time people get old enough to learn how to be assertive, they're often not as attractive (physically and personality-wise) as they used to be. There are some young people who are very assertive, and there are some older people who aren't very assertive at all, but the overall trend is that with age, people learn to be more assertive. Of course, they may also accumulate a lot of baggage as they get older, including bitterness and a lack of cuteness. What often happens is that people err on the side of being too nice when they're young, and when they get older, they err on the side of being assholes. So for example, my friend who put up with his mom's boyfriend's advances when he was younger has now gone off the deep end with all the anger and resentment he feels over what happened. He's now inclined to be totally vindictive about it. I, on the other hand, was angry at first, but got over it. It probably helped that I got involved in the childlove movement. How can I hate the guy who wanted to groom me for sex and then make some sexual moves on me, when I too wouldn't mind grooming some kid for sex and then making some sexual moves on her. The difference, I don't have the balls to actually try to follow through with that. I have to respect those who at least make the attempt. In a way, the ugly men who hit on kids are worthy of even MORE respect because they start out with a disadvantage, so therefore it takes even more courage than it otherwise would. The type of person (whether kid or adult) you have to watch out for is the kind who oscillates between doormat and bitch/asshole. That's the kind who will apologize and then complain later, "You were so dominating. Every argument we had ended with me apologizing." Then you're like, "I never asked you to apologize." It's much better to be dealing with someone who tells you how they really feel. Off-topic: I'm glad that this year, for once in my life, I will have someone to vote for who totally supports my right to ... do a lot of stuff that, sadly, I can't describe here without violating rule #1. I don't know how I'm going to get a job until all these headlines fade away from public view (a major, nationwide recruiting agency already called me and said, "One of our clients for whom you worked called and told us about this newspaper article; are you the same person who is named in this article?" and I hung up.) |