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Raising successful boys vs Raising a successful human beings. I have gone 100 rounds with quite a few people here about trying to impose there will on making a boy who they think he should be without taking into account who he is as a person. I see thousands or articles written about how to make your kid smarter ( in the sense of succeeding at school) and grooming them for financial success later in life. Of course, I know some adults who were raised like this and I can't say I am impressed by the outcome. The majority of them are not happy people nor are many of them what I would consider good people. I think I have made my position clear on this that if a kid wants to play with Barbies and not G.I Joes that's OK... if he wants to dance to show tunes and put on plays... even better. (Send the boy to band camp etc) Of course that equally applies to boys who are more atypical males. This is what is called "goodness of fit". " A "good fit" occurs when environmental demands align with a person's capacities, promoting optimal development, while a "poor fit" creates stress and conflict.".... And in my opinion a "poor fit" often leads to very unhappy kids and later to very unhappy adults. In other words, trying to fit a square peg into a round hole does work well and often leads to other than optimal outcomes. I think many here think that kids are just blank slates that can be formed to your will ( or someone else's) That is absolutely not true. We all have predispositions that we build upon. Of course even among BLs, many think a kid can be turned gay or made straight which has been proven time and time again to be untrue. The same goes for other traits the person has... the best I think you can do is try to channel that in a positive direction. But you are not going to change who a person fundamentally is......... and trying to do so is real abuse. That is my thinking on the subject.... ![]() International Boylove Day BoyWiki |