Prayer for the past year

I reflected back on this year and said a little prayer. This is what I have to say about my nephew, who I call Jack here, who has grown older: I bring You my deepest wound: Jack has grown, and the place where he once lived in me has gone quiet. I did not lose him to death, but to time - and that pain has no recognized ritual. I am grateful for the prayer that I found but it is cutting me to pieces. I am still grappling with him growing older and I am finding it extremely difficult to fill the void he has left in me. It is a silent fight that I can't discuss with people around me for the nature of it which is that we are happier to spend time with kids than with adults. It is not like it is easy to find boys and girls to love. This happened to come to me by accident and by family. But we are unable to freely go out there in the world and form new friendships with kids. The world doesn't recognize it and doesn't recognize us. I can't even be hopeful, or say a prayer, for the new year that I find another friendship as sweet as this one. I have the one brother who has kids. I will not be able to find a close family member to care for their children as my brother's. It is extremely painful and solitary. The pain is immense. The hope is fleeting.