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@monkey: your job is to support him (Roam). This is a support forum after all. @roam: your job is to support him (Jack). You are his uncle after all. What changed: almost nothing except you started overthinking. And that can ignite a whole stack of issues. As one being high on the Asperger's scale, i want everything sorted out before i even start. The saying "everything will sort itself out" really pushes my buttons. Being comfortable to start things and make decisions on the go was quite alien to me. I am comfortable around kids, because i am confident that i can handle all stuff they throw at me. It is not the same with adults - they are in a way quite scary. Someone like Roam will find himself in a situation that dealing with a beloved person might require a totally different set of skills, which one is afraid to not possess. And what we should do is to reduce that fear. It is irrational, but it is part of what we are. We love a person, we are committed, but we are also afraid to fail. Parents are unable to do wrong in they eyes of their little children - at some points they will discover that they too are fallible. And parents have to deal with this fall from the assumed pedestal. I was unlucky to not witness my young friend making the turn from a cute little guy with radiating eyes to a youngster. I might have experienced the same problems Roam is facing now. |