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Uplifting...

Posted by coonigan on 2025-December-2 12:07:41, Tuesday

What's uplifting? Come on uplift me cause I like it, cuteness is just
nature's way of making you want to make babies and to charm you into
caring for them, the cause of all human suffering because nature is a
cruel wicked bitch, nature made us perceive beauty in most of her works,
so we'd ne fooled into liking existence. Well call it evolution I mean
how many hideous babies died of neglect while these fucking cute ones
could vie for the affection of their parents? So next time you see a
wonderfully cute boy, think of the trail of beasts that had to perish
in Beauty's name.

I honestly wanted to write something uplifting, but I got sidetracked by
reality, LOL, I'm like Schopenhauer for I believe;

"A man can be himself only so long as he is alone; and if he does not
love solitude, he will not love freedom; for it is only when he is alone
that he is really free"


So intentionally or not I dodged Nature's plan, I didn't produce any
children, I have four brothers and neither did they, my sister has
two children and two grandchildren and one of the grandchildren has a
girlfriend and if he's anything like his father he will marry her.
When younger my sister swore she would never have children, but nature
took its course. My other nephew is a sensitive soul who got lymphoma
in his teens I suspect he'll never have children.

So I'm alone by choice, I have my sanctuary, and I've never been happier
as an adult than in my own company, I don't socialise and I certainly
don't miss it. Because I went mad thirty something years ago I qualify
for enough money to keep me happy and I haven't worked a day.

My doctor suspects I have bowel cancer, I guess I'll have to have a
colonoscopy I haven't laughed so much in all my life, I love it,
oh and there's the mystery of my tachycardia I had an ultrasound of my
heart which didn't provide a cause, and I'm on insulin for type2
diabetes, I've been in hospital twice this year getting ECGs and
full body CT scans and ultrasounds of my bladder, he's tried to send
me to specialists for everything under the sun, but I am rejected by
the health system because I'm not sick enough.

And still I laugh out loud to myself, what's the worst that could happen?
I cease to be, and still I laugh, oh death where is thy sting?

All my doctor's fears are coming true, he's playing the hypochondriac by proxy, and I've only been seeing him since the beginning of the year,
He's young he's probably not long out of medical school, he did notice
the trembling in my left hand had lessened, he was probably going to
diagnose me with Parkinson's.

But I have lost weight, about 14Kg but then I have been eating less,
I like getting thinner, I can actually see my genitals again and I
love that too!

Oh the second time I was in hospital the first night a woman doctor
diagnosed me with a type of cancer, I had excessive amounts of calcium
going on, my older brother was there and my mother, my brother says
to the doctor I have that cancer, then she left and my brother reckoned
the cancer was so rare it would be a huge coincidence if I had it too.
I rationalised that the high calcium was from my addiction to homemade
Iced coffee, all milk, sure enough a couple of days later the calcium
had normalised.

Well I hope all that uplifted you a bit, maybe next time I'll set out
to do a really depressing post and it will turn out uplifting.

coonigan

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