Short story long...

Thanks Shoty, I'll let you in on a secret, I got a fungal infection in my groin quite some time ago, and they gave me cream for it, but it didn't seem to help, and to add to my list of afflictions I noted in my post, about 3 years ago I got Lithium poisoning which might have been prevented if my doctor at the time hadn't missed a regular blood test at first she admitted it was her fault then she changed her mind and said it was a clerical error, anyway I had spent a week in hospital and then another three weeks in rehabilitation in another hospital, it fucked my kidney function, anyway I had nurses treating my fungal infection by applying cream every day, they never said I could do it myself, which I probably could have, every nurse on that ward took turns applying it once a day, but it persisted when I left hospital and it has persisted since, I did go on some pills for a bit but they didn't help, and just recently it has got worse, I haven't found an opportunity to mention it to my current doctor but I believe wrongly or rightly that it has gone up my arse, and that is what has caused a bit of bleeding and itchiness and pain when I use the toilet, located just inside, now up there is probably a lovely warm home for a fungal infection, I mentioned to the doctor that my shit had recently become harder than usual,suspiciously close to the time I came off a drug I had been taking for over 25 years under his direction, a drug that is now known to cause type 2 diabetes, well I didn't have this incite at the time and he thought a change in bowel movements was a sign of bowel cancer and he may be right, he asked if there was any blood and I said a bit on the toilet paper so he digitally examined my rectum for piles and couldn't find any and asked me if I had a family history of bowel cancer to which I replied no, not that I'm aware of, that's when he mentioned the colonoscopy. If you've read this far you are doing very well! I'm going to make an appointment with him next week, to tell him about the fungal infection and my "theory of everything" I've got nothing to lose but my life. But I'm not dead yet, not right now anyway, and the present moment is all I have to look after, the future doesn't exist just the eternal moment, master that and nothing else matters.