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So, I'm getting up there in years. I've never been called "Sir" so much in my life, at least to the extent that I leave the house, which usually just involves going to Trader Joe's or Safeway. My life is dramatically more narrowed-down now than it was before 2016 when IML got passed and I could no longer work in a field that required foreign travel. I effectively went from frequent travel to being a virtual shut-in, overnight. I need other people less than ever and care about what they think even less, but I'm having an "okay" time, filled with reading, YouTube deep-dives (I'm watching YouTube many of my waking hours!), writing and listening to music. What am I saying? For me, I'm more accepting of a nearly hermitic and increasingly isolated life than I would have been in my forties or fifties. I can now live in my own head to the exclusion of others to a very great extent. So, that keeps me willing to go on. I'm curious about the future, almost morbidly so, and I always want to know "What happens next?" even if it turns out to be a disaster. Curiosity, perhaps, turns out to be, at least a partial, antidote to desperation and boylessness. |