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I have two main problems atm. 1. I have the money but not the time to take care of a kiddo or three properly. It's a Golden Handcuffs of sorts. My fear is I get old, have a fat bank account, but I've not really been able to live out of my dreams like travel the world. Why haven't I done this already? Besides not having time, I have nobody to go with and i absolutely need to to truly enjoy it. 2. I dream of having something like the relationship in Call Me By Your Name (the movie). For those who haven't seen it, it's a romantic and very intellectual relationship between an older man (in his 30s) and a 17 year old. Besides the fact that I love their deep connection, they enjoy a very intellectual relationship. I'm not sure I will ever find that, at least in time. The boys i've met are typically not intellectual, and the one who was, was not interested in me beyond the first few weeks, which is the case most of the time as they prefer kids their own age plus some other issues on my personality. These two issues get worse and worse as I get older because I fear time running out. |