I am impressed by your attention to me and perseverance. I think I can be interested person for people in this community :) You seem fixated on trying to understand the "why" of your sexual development. I don't think that that will get you anywhere at all. I think my question is more academic. I want to write paper on this matter for academic journal. I have been writing about sexological topic in wiki, so I want also to write something in an academic journal. Also I want to play with fancy maths (dynamic system theory, chaos theory) and try to apply it to sexological concepts. Also I didn't write that I have absolute aversion to sexuality. It can be tolerated to me under certain circumstances. My gender identity should be respected, I should feel safety, love and appreciation, also I like to be submissive...I think it is too much information about personal life and preferences from newbie. I don't feel comfortable. I used to be modest and shy. |