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It's interesting. I thought as we,re all subjected to by and large the same indoctrination at a very young age which is then subsequently re-enforced through our formative years and into adulthood in respect to being born a BL,ver, we would all have grown up with the same negative fears and self perceptions. Granted I would imagine there are some global regional variations as to just how hysterical that indoctrination is, it being governed by social history, values and norms, but overall I would have thought that my experience and feelings were more the norm than the exception. I do reflect back, but not in any self pitying way, and often wonder how we as young children growing up with a growing sense of being a BL,ver actually survived without jumping off a cliff or under a train. Those that do are left to make their way through this world as fallible humans, yes warm, caring and sentient human beings, no not monsters, just like the rest of the heterosexual community. Just like the rest of society and human beings in every walk of life, we sometimes make mistakes, sometimes being intimate with people who, when on reflection in the cold light of morning, you wished perhaps you hadn't taken the risk given the potential consequences. But for us when we make those all to common mistakes we have to pay with our lives (not our heart beat or breath though some feel the need to personally take that option, rather than face the public and personal ridicule which is to follow, but the life which is jobs, friends, money, social acceptance, families, wives, children, homes and ultimately freedom, whereas the rest of society when making their mistakes deal with STI,s unwanted pregnancies or broken marriages or relationships. Still I would guess growing up as a pedophile is becoming an increasingly difficult path to traverse for today's kids and teenagers some as suicide amongst teenage boys now is at an all time high across the western world). Particularly now, I mean when I was a teenager, yes I was aware of the social stigma attached to being a pedophile, but I didn't have it rammed down my throat with the same vitriolic hysteria from every media to school classrooms, as today children and teenagers do. |