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I can relate, as I have been there myself. I have gotten much better at it (or I'd be dead by now!), and so can you. Before you take the plunge, you may want to delay your telling him and first see if B4U-ACT's Peer Support listserv might not serve your need. B4U-ACT provides peer support through an email group where MAPs can talk with each other about issues related to their emotional well-being. These issues may include coping with stigma, fear, frustration, or secrecy, finding fulfilling relationships, working with mental health professionals, living within the law, or any other issues that may or may not be related to sexuality. This email group is private and confidential, and administered via GoogleGroups. If you are interested in subscribing, contact Richard Kramer at rkramer@b4uact.org. In any event, here is what you should ask the shrink (from B4U-ACT's Seeking Therapy page): As a mental health consumer, you have the right to services that are compassionate, ethical, and effective. Our job is to help both professionals and consumers become more knowledgeable; your job is to make an informed decision when choosing a professional. Therefore, we recommend you read our Principles and Perspectives of Practice before seeking therapy. You may wish to ask a potential therapist for his or her reactions to these principles and perspectives. Specifically, when voluntarily contacting a mental health professional for therapy, we recommend that you ask him or her the questions below. We suggest that you make a written record of the professional’s responses to these questions. Questions to ask a potential therapist 1. What kind of education and credentials (certifications, licenses, and degrees) do you have? 2. What kind of experience do you have working with minor-attracted people? 3. Who, if anyone, will find out about my sexual feelings (e.g., professional colleagues, administrators, clinic staff, my insurance company, my employer, your friends or spouse)? What diagnosis will be given to my insurance company? Note: Quite often a team of professionals in which a therapist works will be aware of clients’ situations; in this case, you can expect that the team will know about your sexual feelings, but they should abide by the same principles of confidentiality as your therapist. If your insurance company will cover any part of your therapist’s fees, it will be informed of your diagnosis only. If you receive therapy through an employee assistance program, your employee should be given no information other than your record of attendance at therapy sessions. 4. What situations would you have to report to authorities under mandatory reporting laws? What would constitute sufficient suspicion of illegal sexual behavior that you would have to report? 5. Would you say that minor-attracted people have any particular needs or characteristics as a group? If so, what would you say they are? 6. Have you had experiences in your life that might affect your interest or ability to work with minor-attracted people? 7. Do you have any values or strongly held attitudes that might affect how you work with minor-attracted people? 8. What conditions, if any, would you require of me in order to receive therapy? 9. What would be your guiding assumptions, principles, or philosophy in working with me? 10. What would be the purposes of therapy? Would you try to cure me of my sexual feelings? 11. What would be your approach in therapy? 12. Would you use polygraphs, plethysmographs, or arousal reconditioning? 13. What would be the therapeutic plan? Will I participate in developing it? Can I receive it in writing? |