Well good for you for asking!

Your description of events/feelings are not unfamiliar to me. But things will get better, Jessy’s gonna take care of ya. My advice is drop the booze and drugs. This will make your system weaker and dependant. I got so nervous, anxious, sad and depressed I thought it was game over... You must jump back into the saddle and challenge yourself and your body. I began jogging, I started by walking some than jogging... than jogging more, until my full 30-40 min was at a jogging pace. But I remember crying as I jogged, it was hard but in my opinion better than using drugs. I also swam, The courts restricted me from going to any public pool, by my probation officer overruled that and gave me/encouraged me to go. Eat well, don’t be afraid to cry it’s a release, but keep the positive endorphins brewing by vigorous exercise. I know I’ll get a lot of flack for this one, but if you’re the least bit religious take comfort in prayer at your church, to have some one bigger... way bigger that understands, and is friendly can help. Through it all keep your sense of humor as much as possible, and work hard at what you do. Save your cash, and let your self be helped by those closest to you, and offer yours (help) if you can. And finally time... lots of it will see you through. There are better days ahead, trust me. Oh and don’t crush out your love for boys, that would be a denial of your beautiful self. A good lawyer will make you feel at ease, and be impartial about what you did but will see you as a person; the good person you are... He’ll also make you look like an angel before the judge... he he Hope that helps a bit. It's rough, but it does get smoother. If you get mad, this is a great place to let it all out. See ya-round.