You will be in our thoughts

Hi steamboy, You have received some good advice here so far and i hope the replies are of some comfort to you. Quite a few of us here have been where you are and can identify with the horrendous situation you find yourself in. However, as others have said, you CAN get through this and come out the other end and go on to lead a happy life. It is a pity you spoke to the police on the day that they raided you. As others have said, this is not a good idea as you are making it easy for them to get at you. When you see your solicitor, maybe write down a list of questions you may have for him. I guess really all he can offer you at the moment is some general advice, as there is not a lot he can do unless charges, if any, are brought forward. Be aware that in many places, charges can take several months, in some cases more than a year, to come through. So don't act as if someone is going to come and cart you off to prison in the morning. The wheels of justice turn slowly. In your case, hopefully there will be no charges at all. (Also martirwitacause is right when he warns not to admit anything to a solicitor that you subsequently want to deny in court, if it comes to that. So be careful what you say) At the moment i would hold tight in telling your family about this, unless they have to know. You know them best, but if this all blows over then you will have spared them the grief of finding out. At some stage they may need to know, but you will have to judge that for yourself. You may be surprised just how supportive family can be about your situation, but the likelihood is they will never really understand boylove. I know this may be going over constant in your head, but you need to try and relax. Take some excersise or whatever you like doing that may take yor mind off this. In my case, when i was arrested i lost my job, but i quickly found another one, and working 6 days a week really helped me to get along during those months before i was charged. i will say that my case was more serious than yours, and i did end up with a couple years prison time and subsequently being on a register. However where i live now only the police know about me, and i have a job and am getting on with my life. I do not get harrassed and even when i go around the area where i used to live, i am not harrassed there. i have served my time and am trying to get on with life as best i can. (It depends where you live whether people can access the sex offenders register to see if you are on it. In most places outside the US and Canada, the register is not open to the public) The last thing i have to say is advice in a worst case scenario. Some people on here may not agree with me but i am thinking of a best possible outcome for you in the unlikely event you face serious charges. Lets say they do find some porn on your PC and charge you with possession. Unless you and your solicitor can come up with some viable explanation as to how that got there without you being aware, then he will probably advise you to plead guilty. If you are going down this road, you are going to want to present yourself before the judge as someone who is facing up to his 'problem' and someone who is a low risk to society. This will ensure the best possible outcome for you regarding sentencing. To get this low risk assessment, you will need to go for sex offender counselling. Do not trust your solicitor to give you the name of someone suitable. Well ask him if you like, but be sure the person you are seeing is someone who deals with sexual offenses or people who are inclined as we are. Now heres the thing. You will probably have to lie to this person to get a low risk assessment. Whatever you do, do not admit to actually being into boys. Just say you were depressed or confused or whatever, and it was something stupid you did, but that you no longer think about such things and if you are asked about masturbation etc just say you are into women or men or whatever. The counsellor will write you a report then for the sentencing, and if you get a low risk result, then this will count VERY favourably with the judge. I would eat my hat if you got a prison sentence after all that. Anyway best of luck. What i said in the last paragraph is in a worst case scenario. It likely wont get to that stage. Try to stay positive and not think about this 24/7 as that will only make you ill. You have a lot of things in your favour, such as your age and the fact we are not dealing with a contact offense with a child. If you like, i can be contacted at the above linked email address. We are here for you, keep strong Aviator