Impartial to a fuck...

Fucking boys makes for good drama but I don't know if I'm even partial any more. If I ever was, I used to feel such guilt after wanking like I'd just murdered a baby, I always ended wanking sessions with a sullen contemplation that that boy had on the movie Crazy Love, AKA Love is a Dog From Hell. He played at wanking so realistically to my mind and it was his first time, He dreamed of princesses and heroes but his mother, after he'd caught her being fucked by his father and he asked about the princesses and heroes, she had to tell him the truth, "All Is Ugly" he complained. "No, all is not ugly" said his mother. Charles Bukowski who's writings the film was based on lived what many would call a raucous lifestyle, he advised "Don't try" and "Give it all you've got". How depressing coonigan. Fuck yeah! it's like our friend Johnnie Cash nearing his death, that music video, of a cover of Nine Inch Nails', 'Hurt'. "I hurt myself today to see if I still feel, I focus on the pain, the only thing that's real, the needle tears a hole, the old familiar sting, Try to kill it all the way, but I remember everything, what have I become? my sweetest friend, everyone I know goes away in the end. That's dedicated to the people in this home, I'll cheer them up if it kills me! No it's deeper than that coony, deeper. There's a floor and a ceiling to life, the floor is a feeling that god's foot can't resist squashing you to Kingdom come, or hell which ever comes first, you can feel it like a freight train in the night. Paused above your head. Don't think coony. The ceiling is a morning with an unbearable beauty, just look out your window, it's fucking dawn, everything is right, like in Pipa's Song, everything is vivid and clear, poetry makes sense, it's heaven and I'm in it, my body is light, there is no burden, open your Palgrave's Golden Treasury, and open it where the ribbon is, look it's dull grey on the outside of the book, but inside it's brand new, purple, almost like your sister's labia minora but it has no hair, you just had to peak up her nighty when she was mixing the bath water and bending over didn't you? It was a real eye opener. I told you brother in confidence but you just couldn't keep it to yourself, "Purple and hairy" you told her. It was almost like the time you read her very private diary. Curiosity killed the cat coonigan. And fuelled your sex life forever and ever Amen. I want to see the children naked or get a view up their shorts, girls, boys it makes little difference, I want that knowledge. I haven't got a clue, if your question is "why?" Let me tell you a story about Donald Mcgrory? coonigan, you know what befalls you, it's just private, and it's the only thing that is permanent. So wank your god given willie and look to the stars instead. Yeah right. This song is from my god to me...Say it ain't so. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SnEVnvWUJgM Lyrics I hurt myself today To see if I still feel I focus on the pain The only thing that's real The needle tears a hole The old familiar sting Try to kill it all away But I remember everything What have I become? My sweetest friend Everyone I know goes away In the end And you could have it all My empire of dirt I will let you down I will make you hurt I wear this crown of thorns Upon my liar's chair Full of broken thoughts I cannot repair Beneath the stains of time The feelings disappear You are someone else I'm still right here What have I become? My sweetest friend Everyone I know goes away In the end And you could have it all My empire of dirt I will let you down I will make you hurt If I could start again A million miles away I would keep myself I would find a way