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I definitely agree re:adolescence and virginity warping your judgement. I was very interested in the idea of losing my virginity or doing something sexual in general with an older man before I hit 16, which did happen with enough persistence. Though, I can't say I had similar needs for other boys. I did have a lot of experiences with other boys, from when I was 9 all the way to 17, spanning maybe 7 unique boys that ranged from a one off instance of touching, to a years long sexual friendship. My preference was always for older men, I specifically fetishised men who were double my age or were at a plausible age to be my father, it's just that I did not reject the advances of other boys. Perhaps because I was fairly feminine in behaviour, perhaps because they thought I was attractive, perhaps both, I never struggled to find male affection. Though, the things I have taken from it all is that emotional intimacy is what is most important to me, hence also my distaste for purely carnal relationships. The friendships that became sexual were both far more pleasurable and far more devastating to lose, rather than the more curious or playful experimentation. I also feel as though the latter is exploited by some pederasts, too. For me, the man I met shamed me for not being as sexually suggestive as I had been online. Given I was then a boy of 15 and a virgin, I think any reasonable person would expect timidness, but rather than comforting me, he mostly just demeaned me for not feeding his sexual appetite in the way he seemed to want. I specifically remember him saying that I was "like a Japanese schoolgirl", and "all bark, no bite". Do I think every pederast is like this? Perhaps not, I doubt the man was himself a pederast, just a sexual opportunist. I still find it difficult to not notice this behaviour, where the boy is not seen as a person to develop a bond with. It seems to me that for many pederasts, the boy might as well be a statue, or a corpse, merely an object for desire to be thrust upon. Re: age of consent, IMO it is stupid to push for such extremes as 12. You take an inch, not a mile, there are not nearly enough people who identify as a "MAP" to have a real revolution in the way that existed for gay liberation. |