Physical violence vs emotional neglect

I've heard this argument about gaining a "respect for elders", but I think it comes from a misunderstanding. First, true respect can only come from deserving respect in the first place. Obviously one who can get obeyed without violence deserves more respect than one who is forced to use violence to get the same result. But more importantly, the idea that spanking gets kids to respect their elders comes, according to my observations, from the comparison with the usual cheap alternative: spoiling the kids. Which generally amounts to some kind of emotional neglect. That's the kid version of "shut up and take my dollars". It's giving up getting the kid some real attention to his needs and desires. It's giving up on getting him some education, some guidance on how to manage his emotions and interact with the world in a constructive and harmonious way. The kid can't really understand what's wrong with him being spoiled of course, but he can feel it's wrong. And he logically reacts by disrespecting people spoiling him and by extension, all his elders. It's crucial, I believe, to emphasize that emotional neglect typically has more severe harmful consequences than physical violence (or sexual abuse, by the way). So, blaming too much spanking, especially without giving parents the information and support they need to a positive alternative, may have an even worse outcome than letting traditional authoritarian education take place. Parenting is, after all, an extremely difficult task, consuming a lot of time and energy. I think BLs should try their best and feel compassionate towards parents. Most of them do their best regarding their children. But perfect education just doesn't exist. In some way or another, parents are doomed to fail. But it's ok, children are amazing beings and can display some incredible amounts of resilience, as long as they can find some kind of genuine guidance along the way. That's why BLs, despite all the fearmongering, have been appreciated for millennia by families and it will certainly go on this way for the centuries to come. Lots of happy boys to you, FF mi lon. mute mije lili kin li lon. o sina kute e mi, mi ala wile, pilin pona mi li anpa e pilin ante.