My love of children has only affected my life directly in my desire for younger friends and younger lovers. Everything else is the product of other people not liking my love of children. It's an interesting linguistic note; people frequently say, "because I'm gay," "because I'm a boylover," when explaining [bad] things that happen to them. The real truth usually is "because people are homophobic," "because people hate pedophiles." The former puts the point more squarely on us; the latter on bigoted people. I can't say for sure how it will affect my interaction with adults. I'm still "supposed" to be around other teens. I can say that there is a certain level of estrangement that comes with loving children in our culture. With casual connections, like team members, it's less pronounced. It becomes an issue most when you develop more substantial connections. It sets a distinct, unreasonable roof on intimacy. To some extent, I've learned how to deal with that. You have to learn to be at all happy around a friend you're closeted to. It certainly never becomes pleasant, though. My attraction also influences my desires for friendships, similar as it does to you. I try not to think about it, but I can't help but be disappointed when I realize I don't have a young friend. I also do think that loving children has influenced my life in a very important way because of my coming out to several folk in a... ill-conceived manner. It put me through some experiences that have lasting effects that I both do know about and some that I probably don't know about. I can't pretend it hasn't caused school rumors that have quickly died either. Etc., etc. That's all. |