I've told my dad and a few close friends and I regret most of those conversations. Not because they went badly, they actually went really well, but I was in a phase of my life where I felt that "confessing" things about me would create an emotionally vulnerable space where I could be accepted and loved for who I am. Now, especially that I've overcome the VirPed way of thinking, that all seems not worth the trouble. Because I can have real intimacy with boys in my life (not sexual intimacy but real and rewarding relationships) I no longer need the crutch of "coming out" to people, having them hear my sob story, giving me sympathy and whatever else. That shit doesn't keep me safe and barely counts as love. I have nothing to be ashamed of, and they have nothing to be suspicious of, so why even open that can of worms. Of course being known and understood and accepted is vitally important. But I can have that level of trust with a tiny circle and leave everyone else to mind their own business. And again, getting to know boys to the point where you can show some of your true feelings is worth every sacrifice of honesty and vulnerability in other relationships. -Jet |