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I feel like there are a lot of things I could say about what my experiences with therapy have been like and how disastrous it has been to me, for the most part (though now I am seeing someone who I trust very much and who loves and trusts me, even knowing what I am, and I feel like there's a lot of things I could say about that as well). Pretty much the only type of information that I ever provide about myself are things that basically only I would know, meaning that there wouldn't be a way to trace it to me. Having said that, I am still nervous because I don't know what anybody is capable of truly doing. Hatred for us runs deep in the minds of others. I'm scared that somehow someone in time will find a way to digitally trace this information back to me in some way. I don't know even how it would be possible but I can't let any untrusted people find this shit about me out. I just can't. And I don't know that I should even risk doing it. I've heard it about a million times. Nobody is truly anonymous on the internet. I don't know if people say this just to make people careful. I don't know if people say this because it's true. I just don't know. To be honest I don't know if even posting here was a good idea. I started posting here because otherwise I thought I was going to hurt myself if I didn't have a way to acknowledge this thing but now I wonder if maybe I should have thought twice before doing so. Because I can't exist in this way. But it hurts not to. |