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The goal should be to not only love and support them unconditionally, but also to find it in ourselves to feel happiness for whatever newfound joy happens to grace their existence. We must do and be the best we can be. Boys often do not want us to change. Children are interesting in the ways they put up walls sometimes, but I cannot even tell you how many parents have described to me how much their kids' energies lift when I'm around. I've been in the company of boys who behaved rascally, devious, and frisky when I'm nearby, but otherwise behave well and are quiet. They want us to be ourselves because that's the part of us they identify with. Jealousy is a common feeling to have in life, for sure, and I'm not going to pretend I haven't felt jealous in the past when it comes to former adult lovers. But for boys? No matter how I may feel, I refuse to show that part of myself to them. I find that behaving in a jealous way toward a boy only makes us seem weak to them, and being weak around a child often makes them feel frustrated, scared, or confused (as it does with adults). And then that will only make them ever more slightly fearful of falling in love in the future. And, from my point of view, we should be teaching boys how to love and to be better lovers. Would it make me feel sad if I saw a boy I loved curled up in the loving arms of another man whose physique is superior to mine? Sure, maybe. But I can always take pride in the fact that he was mine first and that I got to do that to him countless amounts of times before he did anyway. And if I didn't? Ehh, fuck it. There are plenty of other boys in the world to fall in love with. And if I'm too old to interest them and am still living by myself, I'll just adopt another. |