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I was in prison in a cell with a BL who was in sex offender treatment, and therefore had to pretend to be opposed to sex with kids, since there were informants listening everywhere who might report his statements to the psychology department, possibly resulting in his being questioned about it during group therapy, and getting some unfavorable notes put in his file which the probation officer and/or judge and/or sex offender psychologists he might have to deal with later might eventually see. So we would get into debates where he would basically play the devil's advocate for the benefit of those who might overhear. And one argument that he always raised was, "If it's true love, why can't you wait till the person is 18? What's the big deal?" The big deal is, not only aren't they going to be as cute physically, but their personality is probably going to be fucked up by the time they turn 18. Boys are perhaps more resilient, but girls especially become more and more fucked up in the head with every year beyond puberty they go without having a baby. Most girls lose their virginity by the time they turn 18, which often means they've had some failed relationship that will have left them bitter and cagey. Ironically, people say, "You need to wait till she's 25 and her brain is fully developed" when actually, by the time she's 25, she'll already be past her prime. Her brain will be screwed up by that point. Boys, I think, are more resilient, although they're likely to be carrying more baggage too, the older they are, and the more that life has kicked them in the ass. Even as they gain confidence and courage with age, they also tend to become less outgoing. Also, opportunities come and go. People may say romantic stuff about how true love will wait. That's only if that particular true love is so much better than the alternative true loves that are available, that it's worth waiting for. It's often said that when you're in a long-distance relationship, what you actually have is an imaginary friend. But even if the person is right there, and you're giving them stuff while not banging them, you're basically being taken advantage of, regardless of whether that's their intent. A healthy relationship involves both parties giving to each other. If the younger partner is a girl, then having a true relationship involves claiming her with your body by penetrating her. With boys, I think there's more of an equal relationship between the two partners, but feminists view everything in terms of men exploiting the weak, so that's why they conclude that it's an exploitative situation. Actually, in many cases, the boy is the more powerful party. Even in non-sexual situations, that can be the case, as when you get the neighbor kid to fix your computer, because he's the one with superior knowledge in that area. If you're giving a young person gifts, mentorship, and all the other stuff you have to offer as an older man, then to expect sex in return is to teach them what a healthy relationship is about. At the very least you should expect SOMETHING, like some kind of mutually enjoyable companionship. |