the many times I have wished...

The people could see me as a person and not a monster. Regardless, I am not the same man I was years ago. I see boys differently now than I did back then. It's not my intent to make myelf out to be any better than anyone else here. I can say that I am glad I no longer have anyone close to me who could potentially be harmed with what I call my craziness. You see I think I restored it in my sexual development. Most boys go through some form of homosexual activity at some point in their lives. In all honesty, and I'm speaking about myself only, I believe that I should have outgrown it as many of my friends did. I don't know about anyone else but I feel terrible about the things I've done in my life. I think I have suffered when some of the boys I've known didn't. They seem to have taken it in stride and moved on just as I feel I should have. Of course the way I was handled is far different than the way I handle the wonderful young ones I have known in my life.